Keeping the Momentum After Dry January for a Fun + Sober 2024

Sometimes the auto zoom on this thing is a. Hey, what's up? Welcome to embrace the madness. I'm your host Madeline, and we are back with another podcast. Thanks for tuning in. I'm excited to be here and excited to be sharing in this episode. Sue. Here, let me get my stuff ready. Oh, shit. Happy new year. First podcast of the new year. Dang, that's crazy. So, yeah, I just want to make sure my hair looks cool. It's okay. That's the thing, too, with these new video podcasts. It's like, okay, well, you have to be okay with how you look because you're gonna be on camera. So. Yeah, just starting the new year. Definitely off to a better start than last year. So it's a win in my book. And I wanted to share about dry January. Yes. Initially, I wanted to do, like, a year recap about being sober and stuff like that, but I passed a year, so. Heh. That's incredible. I think I'm. I'm not at 500 days yet, but I'm really close, I think, in a couple weeks. So I'm just grateful to be here and to continue on. Speaking of non alcoholic. Yeah, it, like, snowed like crazy here, and I think it was, like, ten inches. And we felt. Well, we didn't feel we were in the house for quite some time, but I'm just grateful for, yeah, electricity and a warm home and, yeah, it was beautiful. It was a lot. It was really cold. I don't know that I've ever been in, like, negative wind chill degrees. So here we are. But, yeah, I been doing okay. I've just been keeping up with creating continuing momentum, and, yeah, things are. Things are feeling really good. I'm starting a new job, and I could probably share in a different episode, but basically, when I moved to Nashville, I was like, I don't want to be in service industry. And if you have never met me before, I basically worked in service industry up after high school, up until COVID, and after COVID. During COVID I got a taste of what it felt like to have the time, freedom to create and do whatever. And, I mean, I think a lot of us did, but I was like, I do not want to go back to restaurants ever again. I never want to work for someone else because that means that I can't have that creative freedom. But because I didn't go into hospitality and kind of stayed away from that, I realized that I feel really at home in the service industry. And I would like to reframe. I typically say, like, it's all I know, and I definitely know more than that. But when you only kind of stay in one industry, in one field, you feel, I don't know if pigeonholed's the right word, but you just. You're like, these are my strengths, and I don't know about anything else, so I'm excited to get back into that world. I do think that my soul loves to serve and to provide for others. So, yeah, we'll see. Things feel like they're turning around. Yeah, they feel more like they're turning around than I am experiencing. But if you have been tuning into my collective readings, also found on YouTube, I do a tarot spread. But a lot of those messages have been like, how can we find the blessings in our reality and in our experience, even though we might not perceive them or see them? So, yeah, that brings me to speed. Like I said, I quit drinking in November of 2022, which is crazy. I've already passed a year, so that's really exciting. And, yeah, I wanted to post the year, but then I was like, wait, what if I talk to this audience of people who have already pursued this dry January, this little taste of sobriety, no pun intended. Or pun intended, this taste of sobriety for, what is it, three weeks now? And who have really been feeling good and who have really felt the benefits of this new kind of direction. And, you know, I was sharing on my Instagram Stories, oddly enough, I've actually never participated in a dry January. A lot of my ego was really wrapped into my relationship with alcohol, and I say that. Meaning, like, I used to say, oh, I don't need to quit, because I know I could quit if I wanted to. And so I never did quit. I never did take a month off. And I think I started realizing, like, oh, well, maybe your inability to take time off is actually coming from something else. So that's that. But, yeah, I had never participated in dry January, so I'm actually, like, really stoked for y'all. And if you have never heard of dry January and are just like, what is that? Dry January is this kind of instant. It's kind of like sober October. The holidays had been just this indulgence, and people want to take a break. A lot of people do whole 30, where they kind of eliminate pieces of their diet. Others do a little adventure into sobriety. And then my stomach is, like, hungry. I don't know if you could hear that. Yeah. So taking this kind of 31 day adventure into sobriety and then going back to normal once February hits and I think also Mardi Gras around that time, too, which I know is another holiday of indulgence. But anyways, I was thinking, like, oh, well, what if I share my experience to these people who have really been feeling the benefits of sobriety in order to share kind of how I've been feeling after a little over a year and maybe share with them that, you know, a continuation of sobriety is possible. It's actually fun as heck, and you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better. So if you are participating in dry January, hats off to you. Congrats. Proud of you. And if you're not and you're just listening, you're just kind of lurking. That's okay, too. I'm proud of you. I think our relationship with alcohol is so taboo, and I definitely feel like things are shifting. I feel like younger generations are either not even getting into alcohol or just more aware of the effects. And so I always felt, like, pressure. I felt like people would be like, well, why are you quitting drinking? Or why are you doing that? Or why do you feel like you can't control yourself? Like, it felt like a me problem. And I think for a lot of us, it does feel like a me problem. Why do I have this problem? Why do I struggle with addiction? Why can't I moderate? Why can't I, you know, x, y, Z? And that's tough, especially when there's so much shame wrapped around it, when there's so much, uh. Heck, I forgot the word, forgot where I was going. There's just such a stigma around not drinking because it's so normalized. And I feel like it's almost like a crutch to help you feel better about your habit. And. And this isn't to shame anyone, because I've been there. Like, I remember what it was like. I remember not being able to do dry January. I refuse to do it. And, yeah, there's just so much wrapped around in alcohol and sobriety, and it's insane. But I just wanted to give a shout out to those of you who are doing dry January and who are making these really big transformations for yourself, because it's a lot. It's a lot to say no in this culture where we are forced to say yes. It's so brave and so strong to choose not to engage in this behavior that can be harmful. And for many people, they don't have a problem. They can balance it. They can have one drink and be okay. But for a lot of us, that's not the case. For a lot of us who have family history of alcoholism, that's not the case for a lot of us who. I mean, it could be any. It could really be anything beyond alcoholism, because there's something about that relationship with dopamine. And, you know, some people say they have an addictive personality. Well, our body is craving this. This dopamine that we get from either substances or alcohol or sex or, you know, anything that's gonna provide this humongous, like, uptick upsurge in dopamine because it makes our body feel good. And if you have an imbalance, which, again, isn't something to feel shame about, or at least we shouldn't anymore, if you have an imbalance, then you're going to have a more difficult time feeling balanced. You're gonna have a difficult time feeling regulated without these other substances. And it gets to this point where we are, it's beyond. It's beyond the mental and the psychological. We are chemically dependent on these things. And that's, like, what I had come to terms with, too, is, like, I hadn't ever taken a break from drinking since I was of drinking age. So probably, like, 2021. I mean, we might have. I say might have. We definitely drank before 21, but I don't really remember. It's not like I was heavy drinking. I think maybe I started drinking at the end of high school, but I was. I mean, obviously, you're a lightweight when you start drinking, but I don't think it got dark until college. Um, and if you follow and are a listener of the podcast, you know, I've done several episodes about my relationship with alcohol. I did one about. Yeah, kind of the dangers. I got into a really bad car accident. I was blackout, and I was driving and could have died. Yeah, I share a lot about my history in that episode. I shared a little bit about my sobriety later on when I had moved. And just. I've shared a lot, and I want to be vocal and want to be seen and heard sharing my story, because I know I'm not alone. And I know that so many of us have this weird, fucked up relationship with alcohol. I also am aware that not everybody wants to talk about it. For a lot of people, there's shame wrapped up around it. Especially, you know, if you are a male, then there's this whole stigma of, you can't be weak. If you are, you know, sober or pursuing more health, then you're a pussy. You know, like, just this horrible thing connected to that. And it's just like, I'm so grateful that we're moving. It feels like we're moving towards a time where that is in the past, and you can still be strong and. And not weak, choosing yourself and choosing your mental health, because at the end of the day, that is where my relationship with alcohol went. My mental health was. And I've never been tested for autism, but I feel like I probably have it and somewhere on the spectrum. But I realized a lot of my relationship with alcohol was to. Again, I had never quit, so it's like I had just never quit. But looking back, I had masked a lot of myself. I have always related to, like, being a sensitive person, but I had to quiet a lot of that down. I have experienced a lot of shame around my sensitivity and my feelings and my emotions. And so alcohol was a way for me to kind of put that on mute and be a different person, especially going back to being in the service industry, being around alcohol, bartending. I worked at this place, and we drank nearly every day. Usually it was, like, on the weekends. And then it becomes, like a peer pressure thing. You're drinking because other people are. You're called a pussy if you don't drink with them. You know, it's just like this whole thing wrapped around how other people perceive us and how other people treat us. And, you know, because it's so normalized and because it's so common to drink all the time. You're weird if you don't. You're weird if you don't order a drink. And that is sad to me, too, because I have found so much peace and so much. I've rediscovered myself. I feel like my creativity and my relationship with my creativity is so much different. My self doubt still sometimes shows up because I'm human, but I'm able to meet myself with more compassion and more grace and really get so much more out of life. Gotta have the bubble water. I'm actually having a three beverage moment. I've got some water. Shout out RP Trax, some coffee, and the classic bubble water. That's what we call sparkling water in our house. But, yeah, like, I just want to validate everybody who has had a weird relationship with alcohol, who has had this weird, fucked up journey of shame and doubt and not believing in yourself, because it sucks. Feeling like that sucks. But sobriety has taught me that there is another way. I'm looking for the kitty. We got a cat. Well, we got two cats. Sobriety has taught me that there is another way. And I'm sure if you are in the middle of your dry January and you're almost done. That's incredible. You literally have, like, a week. That's amazing. Literally a week from today. Today's the 24th. I mean, I don't know when I'm gonna post this, but maybe when you see this, you'll be done. So, sobriety has taught me that there's another way. There's another way to live. There's another way to be. You can actually wake up every day happy. And I know that sound, in this day and age, far fetched and impossible. But I'm here to tell you that you can literally wake up every day feeling good. You can wake up every day loving yourself. You can wake up every day feeling like anything is possible because you have separated from yourself, from this poison. It literally is a poison. And again, I'm not. My intention is not to bring up shame if you are still drinking or, you know, we all have our drug of choice or whatever. I don't ever want to shame someone into change, because I know from my experience that shame just makes me feel worse about myself. And I don't feel I'm trying to remove myself from feeling that shame. It's like peer pressure. You don't want to feel peer pressured. You don't want to feel bad about yourself. So why continue? Let's break the cycle, and we can choose something different. And that's why I wanted to share this episode, because I really do feel like you can take your life back. And I think dry January is just a taste of what your future could look like. And that's the title of the episode. Like, using this momentum from dry January to change the trajectory of your life. Like, I'm not going to lie and say that quitting anything is easy. I feel like I have a weird scenario where my body just kind of rejected it. And so I haven't really even been interested in drinking again. And I know that relapse is a real thing. And so many people do struggle with feeling like, oh, I need a drink or I need another substance. And, you know, that's the reality of life and this dependence and this. Yeah, this, like, chemical relationship we have built with this substance. But there are so many benefits to continuing this journey, and. And there's so many options now. There's so many substitutions. You can make so many more people. You know, that was a big thing. I was worried about going out to bars. I think now people, from a business standpoint, realize that sobriety is taking over. And if you don't offer an NA option, you're losing out on money. It's crazy, because if you quit drinking to save money but you drink in a products, you're really not saving that much more money, because it's like the same for a six pack of non alcoholic beer, for a six pack of regular beer. So. And still at venues, it's like liquid death is, I don't know, $8, but, you know, any. I would pay anything for the way that sobriety makes me feel. And I just want you to know that it's possible. I want you to know that you deserve to feel good, and you deserve to feel in control of your life, and you deserve all of those good things. And when you are around people who care about you and support you, and you have substitutions, you have sparkling water, you can do it. And there are gonna be times when it's fucking hard, there's gonna be times when you feel like everything sucks. But I want you to remember that you are whole and you are worthy without any of these substances, and you are deserving of love. And I feel like this is kind of going on a tangent of the relationship of addiction and self esteem and self love, because I really do feel like addiction is this search for wholeness and peace. And, you know, we are all looking for connection, whether we're conscious of that or not. I really just believe, and this is something that I've talked about on the podcast from day one. I don't have videos on it yet thinking about all that. But if you tune in on Spotify or iTunes in the first couple episodes, I share about how, you know, we are these smaller pieces of this big puzzle. Big puzzle being like, I don't know, source energy wherever we came from, if you believe that's God, if you believe that is just a higher power or energy or the universe or anything like that, even just from a purely scientific standpoint, like, we are energy from a bigger piece of energy. And I think because, you know, this is kind of going down a little bit more spiritual path, but as humans, we are. We are considered to be separate from that main energy. You know, my thinking is, like, if we weren't separate, we would still be part of that big energy, but right now, we feel separate. And this could also go back to feeling separate from our parents or our caregivers. If we ever felt unloved or abandoned, that creates the separation. And I think that filling that void of separation can be done through substances. And, you know, it doesn't even have to be a drug or alcohol. It could be sugar, it could be coffee. It could be anything, but it's like, because our dopamine is feeling like we're missing out. Like, there's this void. Chugging coffee is going to pump dopamine and pump caffeine to where we feel more whole. We feel like, oh, I feel better. You know, like, I feel connected. I feel. And again, this could be all unconscious, but I really do believe that addiction is based on us wanting love and us wanting this. This connection, again, something that we feel that we are not capable of receiving or achieving without something. And a lot of times, you know, the things that we are addicted to are numbing a lot of those painful feelings. And I didn't even have any plan for this to go this deep, but I'm glad that it is, because I really do feel that sobriety has taught me that I don't need anything outside of myself. You know, there's still times when I want caffeine or want to smoke or anything like that, but I know fundamentally, that I have everything I need inside me, and I don't need any substance to be who I am already. And I think that, you know, a lot of addiction does fall on this chemical dependence that has been created. And I think that's why it's hard to just go cold turkey. Because our bodies have built this. Our bodies have basically restructured functioning to be used to consuming this. So it's like, if I've consumed alcohol for ten years, my body is used to and expects these substances to come into my body to feel normal. And when we remove these substances or, you know, try to get sober from drugs, our body is like, wait, wait, wait. I'm used to this thing every day, and I'm not getting it. And now I can't be stabilized. My homeostasis is not balanced, and homeostasis is just this kind of neutral. You know, you hear people talking about getting back to homeostasis, it just means, like, you know, if scales are balanced, that's homeostasis. It's not homeostasis when one is kind of, like, far on either side. But when we look at our bodies as, like, this scientific kind of organism, a machine almost, it's like it just wants to get back to balance, because anything not balanced is, like, not balanced. And, like, that's why it's so hard to just cut off or quit cold turkey, because you're literally, like, removing these substances from your body that it depended on. And that's the thing with addiction, is, like, it's chemical just as much as it is psychological. And that's my whole spiel on that. And I think that sobriety, yeah, just shows you that there's another way. You might be thinking like, oh, goodness, I could do it for 31 days, but I don't know if I could do it for 365 days. And I'm here to tell you, consider the possibility. I think, first of all, is even just like believing that it's possible, if you don't believe that you can be sober, it's going to be challenging, because your mind is already kind of deciding, like, this is going to be hard. And I don't want to be naive about it either. Pursuing sobriety is not easy, especially when we are around, again, people who don't think anything twice, who are kind of in these cycles of just consuming. And again, we are removing shame from this, because I do not want anyone to feel shame or to feel that shame about who they are and the decisions that they're making. Because I don't think that it's a good motivator. But I want you to go into this, go into February, you know, you don't even have to commit to 365 days. You could just like, what if I did sober February? What if I did two months, you know? And you can also tell your brain fit. Well, it's a leap year, I think, this year, but February's last days in January, so it's not that much more time. But just tell yourself that it's possible. And know that when you have the tools to move forward, you're going to have a lot easier time. And these tools being, you know, remembering how strong you are, remembering how good you felt, remembering all of those amazing things about this journey that you've experienced, all these new drinks you've gotten to try. So you might be thinking, oh, God, this is going to be really tough. I don't know how I'm going to do it. And I will say that at the beginning of my journey, being around other people, and still sometimes now it's hard. It's hard because you feel Fomo, you feel left out, you feel like you're not participating. And that's why substitutes come in. Liquid death is amazing. It's like a sparkling water. I'm obsessed with athletic brewery. I'm obsessed with free wines. Fre. It's like alcohol removed wines. But it's like if you have a substitute, it's going to be a million times easier. And giving yourself those options are going to help you. When you do have those hard moments, when you do have to be around people who are not on that journey. Um, because it's. It's boring if you are like, oh, yeah, well, I'll just have a sprite. And it's like, sprite's good. But again, it's still. It still feels like you're kind of missing out. Playing shows and staying out late at bars and venues was kind of hard for me. Um, and if you are into that scene, it might be challenging, too. A lot of times, people are doing other things. So sometimes you're not drinking, but just being around other drunk people can be a trigger because you realize how loud you are. You realize how annoying you are. You realize how you just go in circles. And I don't know if you've ever tried to logic or reason with an intoxicated person, but it can be really challenging and difficult because, you know, logic is kind of removed when you are inebriated. And I just want to tell you right there, don't even try. Don't even try to ration. Rationalize. Is that the word? Yeah, with someone. And probably the biggest thing to make sure you've got all your tools is like, shit's gonna come up. And all of these things that you have previously numbed yourself towards, you know, really big, heavy feelings, grief, sadness, you're going to have to face those head on, and that is probably one of the hardest parts. But, you know, this journey teaches you that once you're able to face these big emotions and let them kind of move through you, you'll realize that you don't even need to numb out anymore because you have allowed them. That's the thing. Like, when we numb out or get high or things like that, we are kind of, like, avoiding these bigger, harder feelings. And what I have learned in my journey is, like, all you have to do is allow yourself to cry and allow yourself to get angry and allow yourself to be really fucking sad. But, like, by you holding those in your body and processing and moving through them, when they come back, they don't hurt as much. And it's like, when things come back and I don't know, I haven't really talked about it, but my tattoo is a uniloam. I don't know if you can see it. You can kind of see, but see those, like, circles. So it's like we are going to constantly have these things, these themes that are going to circle back in our lives. And that's the cool thing, is, like, they feel less intense each time because we have. We have moved through them and we've seen them. We've said hello, and we've tried to listen, and, and now we're letting go. And, and, yeah, it's, like, incredible, because you, the more you can do that, you build confidence and strength and trust in yourself. And that is so incredible because you're like, oh, well, then I can do anything. And I think that cutting out alcohol has really helped me believe in myself and trust myself and know that I can depend on myself. Another thing is, you at first, are not going to feel like you have energy, um, when you're either in those situations or around people. And it might be true. I realized, like, a lot of times how drinking helped me stay up later and, and you might get tired, but over time, it kind of just fizzles out, and you begin to create these new stores of energy. And I think it's important to look at things kind of scientifically, too. It's like cutting something out. Yes. Your body will be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm used to that. But the cool thing is, is when you stop providing it, you just never, never bring it back. Your body is so fucking smart and intuitive that it just starts to restructure based on what it has it, what it has to work with, what it has in its environment. And so you begin to build up your energy, and you begin to find energy and find strength to do things that you only were able to do through the help of substances and alcohol. But, yeah, I feel like that is, I feel like I've said everything that I wanted to say, but I appreciate you listening this far, and I'm excited to hear if you do decide to do February and March and, and really taking things, like, a day at a time. There's a cool subreddit, uh, today I will not drink with you. I'm, like, trying to think of that. That's the acronym, but, yeah, it's so supportive, and it's like, when you take it a day at a time, it feels less monumental, it feels like a smaller mountain, and then you can take it out a month at a time. You know, it would be challenging if you're like, oh, God, I can't imagine being sober for a year. But then a year goes by, and it's like, you just have to take it one day at a time, one month at a time, one step at a time. But, but know going into this journey that you are strong enough, you have all the right tools, find your support system. There's so many people. And that's the beautiful thing about the Internet. Like, you might not have people around you that are on this sobriety journey. But there are so many people on the Internet, probably YouTube, TikTok. There are so many people out there who are on this journey with you, and so you're not alone. And I'm just so excited for you. This journey has been, like, literally life changing and transformative. But I know that anything is possible for you, and I'm so excited for you on this journey. So thank you so much for listening. Thanks for tuning in. If you are thinking about quitting drinking, even for a week or a couple days, like, again, take it slow. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Ask questions. Ask for help. It's okay to ask for help. You're not weak. You're not anything else other than amazing. But yeah, I think that's it for today, at least in this episode. I yeah, I'm excited to continue posting for the podcast. Stay tuned for the February collective reading. That'll be dropping pretty soon. And yeah, let me know what you think of this video in the comments and I will catch you later. Thanks so much. Bye.